The Day After

It is 6:30am and I don't feel like sleeping. I never thought I would survive my December 28th. The feeling of "sadness" is an understatement. I cried for help but no one was there. I don't know how to contain myself. I hoped to be insane. My tears were over-pouring. I have no one to talk to. I have nowhere to go.

There's one thing that kept running on my head that night. I wanted to die. I'm not the suicidal type but I really wanted to die. What if I die of crying? What if I got hit by a cab then die? Call me crazy but it hurts so much that I thought of just letting everything go. I don't know how depression feels but if depression is sadness to the nth power then I had it last night.

Today, I'm still alive. And yes, it still hurts. I'm trying everything just to lessen my pain. Baby steps as Ch@m!3 would say. I'll be ok.. In my own time. In my own way.