WHO'S YOUR ULTIMATE CRUSH?



Since ilang araw na rin naman akong pumepetiks at nagpapacute dito sa office.. naisip ko na mag update ng kawawa kong blog.. eto na!

he is benedict.. my ultimate crush! cute nya no? gusto ko sana yung nakaharap yung mukha nya e.. kaya lang wala akong makuha e.. ninenok ko lang yan.. hehehehe! patay na naman ako kay budji(nickname ni benedict) pag nakita nya yan.. hehehehe! bakit ba? blog ko to no! hay budj..

ilang taon ko na ring crush yang si benedict.. 6 years ko na ring pinapagpantasyahan yang si budj.. hay benedict.. my baby budji.. haha!(wish!).. naalala ko nung college.. love team kami nyan e.. ako nga lang and yung mga friends ko yung sumusuporta.. hay grabe.. kung meron man akong kaisa isang lalaking kinarir sa buong buhay ko.. sya yan.. hahahaha! totoo yun.. hehehehe!

naalala ko pa nung debut ko.. yung pinaka magandang gift na nareceive ko e yung gift ni arman.. hahaha! dun sa gift na yon may nakalagay na note saying.. "alam ko naman sa lahay ng gifts na marereceive mo tonight dito ka magiging pinakamasaya.." haha! pag bukas ko nakalagay sa picture frame si benedict! hahahaha! oo naman! nilagay ko pa yun sa kwarto ko dati.. hahahahaha! Siguro yung peak ng love team namin ni benedict e nung time ng debut ni she.. haha! i can still remember kung pano ko pinilit si she na maging partner ko si budj sa kotilyon(sensya na.. hindi ko alam spelling e.. :D ) pero sa kasamaan palad, hindi ko sya naging partner.. pero ok lang.. at least nakasayaw ko naman sya sa praktis.. haha! ang lambot ng kamay nya promise.. hahahaha!

Nung college favorite ni budj si mandy moore hehe! kaya ko nagustuhan yung a walk to remember kase feeling ko ako si mandy moore don. hehehe! nung college, may 2 fans yung love team namin ni benedict.. si kuya ariel (yung nagturo ng kotilyon) and yung mama ni she.. haha! at least may fans di ba? naalala ko pa nung nakausap ko yung mama ni she uhmm siguro nung mga last year.. tinanong nya sakin kung kamusta na daw si benedict..hehehehe! meron pa rin palang naniniwala sa nasirang love team namen.. hay budj..

last year ko sya huling nakita.. naka business attire sya.. shocks! ngiti pa lang grabe promise.. alam mo yun may kabog pa rin sa dibdib.. hay.. sana maging asawa ko si benedict.. (bakit ba? hindi naman masamang mangarap di ba?) grabe pag nangyare yun.. promise.. dream come true talaga! haha! magpapakabait na ko.. hehehehe!

nga pala.. kilala ni daddy si benedict.. alam din nyang sobrang crush ko si benedict and sya yung guy na gusto kong ligawan.. hahaha! :D

"My autobiography"

Prologue
1.Where did you take your default pic?
- don't have any :D
2.What exactly are you wearing rightnow?
- jeans and shirt
3.What is your current problem?
- am bored..
4.What makes you most happy?
- surprises
5.What's the name of the song thatyou're listening to?
- winning women
6.Has anyone close to you died recently?
- none

7.Do you ever watch mtv?
- yes

8. Whats something that really annoys you?
- deception

Chapter 1:
1.Middle name:
- bicomong
2.Nickname(s):
- gaze, days
3.Current location:
- brgy pio del pilar, makati city
4.Eye color:
- black

Chapter 2:
1.Do you live with your parents?
- no
2.Do you get along with your parent(s)?
- yes
3.Are your parentsmarried/separated/divorced?
- married
4.Do you have any Siblings?:
- yes
5. Do you have any in-laws?
- no

Chapter 3: Favorite...
1. Ice Cream:
- quezo real
2.Seasons
- none

Chapter 4: Do You..
1.Write on your hand
- no
2.Call people back:
- sometimes pag hindi ko nakakalimutan
3.Believe in love:
- not sure
4.Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
- yes
5. Have any bad habits?
- yes
6. Any mental health issues?
- wala naman

Chapter 5: Have You...
1.Broken a bone:
- no
2.Sprained stuff:
- yes! haha! right knee
3.Had physical therapy?:
- yes
4.Gotten stitches:
- yes
5.Taken painkillers?
- yes
6.Thrown up at the dentist:
- yes
9.Sworn in front of your parents:
- yes
10.Had detention:
- no
11.Been sent to the principal's office:
- guidance lang.. nung hs haha!

Chaper 6: Who/What was the last
1.Movie(s):
- devil's advocate
2.Person to text you?:
- yayie
3.Person you called:
- arman
4.Person you hugged?
- daddy
5.Person who tickled you?
- can't remember..
6.Thing you touched?:
- keyboard
7.Thing you ate?:
- hotdog
8. Thing you drank?
- fruit shake
9. Thing you said
- bye kors!

aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww................. how sweet wink wink*

February has been a terrible month for me.. too much work.. too much pressure.. too much stress.. many of you will say that it's part of being a programmer.. i know.. that's why i'm dealing with it.. i've been assigned in two projects that requires so much time.. i was given three weeks to finish it.. my mind was set only on one thing.. kahit anong mangyari.. i have to finish it on or before feb 16. it has been three weeks.. three freakin weeks.. three restless weeks..

spending long hours of work everyday is not a big deal for me.. even working on weekends (yes friends.. i know it's corny.. but it's true.. i've worked seven days a week!..) that has never been an issue for me.. i committed myself to this project that's why i risk everything.. i can still remember my daddy's text message saying.. "anak.. get a life! you're still young!" yup nagtatampo sya.. he told me that i don't have time for my family.. i don't have time for myself.. that my work is the only thing that matters to me.. my dad really plays a big influence in my life and it bothers me when i know that the greatest man in my life is having a thing on me.. but what to do? this time i have to set my priorities.. i have to work.. i have to compromise.. i have to make an extra effort.. i have to meet my deadline..

i've worked my ass off for this project.. i've given it all my time.. i've been very hands on to every little details of the development.. i don't know how i can still manage to smile everytime the designers give me add-ons for the site.. i don't know.. i love it.. i love what i'm doing..

one morning.. something happened.. i felt my world crashed into my face.. my spirit went down.. i didn't want to make a scene but i can't help it.. i felt so upset.. so hurt.. that moment i get to ask myself one question.. IS THE JUICE WORTH THE SQUEEZE? does the job that i love loving me in return? i don't know.. i really feel so down.. i'm not mad at anybody.. i know nobody wants me to feel this way.. i'm just hurt.. so damn hurt! do you know the feeling when you risk everything and give everything on something only to find out that it doesn't pay as much? do you know the feeling of blaming yourself eventhough you know for a fact that you've given more than enough?

don't worry i'll be ok.. i just need a time off.. time to think.. time to rest.. time to pamper myself.. oh well.. life's like that and i have to accept it.. it will pass.. don't worry.. as i always say.. "NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!" ciao! :D

"Never Say Goodbye"


Never been in love
Cause a girl like me
Never had someone to care for
Never thought there could be
Someone special for me
And now I'm all in love
Cause a girl like me
Waited patiently for someone
Someone to care for me
And there will never be

No more lonely, no more just me
I've been there before
Ain't goin no more
And now that you're here I
Never wanna say goodbye love
Never wanna be without you
No more cryin, no denyin'
I'm in love with you
And now that you're here I
I never wanna say goodbye love

Now it's time for me
To find out what the first time love could mean
Little scared but its cool
Cause it's worth it
Now I finally fell in love
And I know that it
Gots to be for real (So real)
It's the way that I feel
So come share my world with me
So there will never be

So I'm standin here
Arms open wide
Ready to give my heart
I'm sure this time
Love's gonna last for life
Baby I know things change
And there might be some rain
But the clouds are gonna clear
And the sun is gonna shine again
Shine light on our love baby
So let's make it last forever

AnG PaGmaMahaL duMadaTinG sa TaManG oRas At TamaNg paGkaKataOn. .MinsaN
SiniSiSi Pa NatiN anG saRiLi NaTin KuNg
BaKiT
NgaYon Mo LaNg NaLamaNg MahaL Mo
Sya..
KunG aLam Mo LaNg...

NgaYon Mo LanG Yon NaLaMan Kasi EtO
YunG TiNataWag Na "TAMANG PANAHON"..
So We ThiNk Of LoVe As a PasT TimE..FLinG
At TrIp LaNg..YunG MaHaL Nya NgayOn..BuKas
HiNdi Na...BoYfriENd Nya NgaYon Pero
TaNggaP Nya Na IsaNg aRaw TaTawaGin
Nya din Yung "EX"..
MataGal Nga,,inaAboT pa Ng taOn pErO
ILaNg taoN??1? 2? 3? Tapos PaG
nagKakaSawaAn na
NagAAyaWaN Na At MaY iBa NamaN Na
NagTataGal LanG ng TaoN daHiL
naNghihiNayaNg sa PinagsamaHan. ..
BaTa Pa MasYado aNg
ganoNg magmahaL...
MaY iBa NaMaN Na MasYadOng SeryoSo At
SenSiTiBo Pag DatIng Sa baGay Na yAn..
YuNg TipO Ng TaoNg haNdaNg iRisK AnG laHat..
MagBigaY.. MagParaYa.. PaRaLaNg DoN sa
TaoNg maHaL Nya.. MerOn PaNg Iba DyaN
NaPiniPigiLaN YunG naRaRaMdaMaN Nya KasI
HigH ScHoOL PaLaNg O Di Kaya TeEnAgER
PaLaNg, GuSto Nya KasIng MaGiNg siLa
NuNg taOng Yon Sa paNahoNg seryosoHan
Na..YunG
SiGuraDo Na Sya Na Yung TaoNg Yon Nga
ang >GuSto NyanG makaSama PaNghaBanG
BuhaY..KumBaga "TAMANG PANAHON"..

ThErE's This QuOTaTioN SaYinG:
"i dont care how many lips u'vE kisd....
i dont care how many women u've embraced
i dont care how many ladies heard u say u
love dem....ol i care is d future...
not to be u'r FIRST but to be u'r LAST"..

MaSaRap MagmaHaL nG TaOng MahAL ka
Din..YunG feELiNg Nyo SouLmaTe Kayo..
KAYA KUNG PARA SAYO TALAGA
SIYA..ILANG
TAON MAN KAYO DI MAGKITA.. IL ANG TAO
MAN ANG MAHALIN NIYA.. GAANO MAN SIYA
KALAYO O MARAMI MANG HADLANG..
MAGKIKITA PA RIN KAYO KUNG TALAGANG
PARA KAYO SA ISA'T ISA...
pAg-iBiG???. ...
HinDi HinahaNap Yan..Kusa yAnG
duMaRaTinG sa "TAMANG PANAHON"..

friday afternoon.. napagod na sa pagpoprogram.. browse ng net,, punta multiply.. checked gen's site,, kita ko pic ng college friends ko..
andon si arman, si benedict, si philip, si lester, si martin, si rc, si aileen, si mich, si gen.. wala lang.. nakakalungkot.. naalala ko yung college days namin..

sse 12,, hehe yan yung block namin nung college.. si she, sya yung una kong nakilala "you want candy?" hehe yun yung una kong sinabi kay she,, tapos nakilala namin sina gen, mich and aileen,, pumasok kme sa dorm.. ang walang katapusang kwentuhan..ang walang tulugang dorm dahil nauubos ang oras sa pagkukwentuhan at pagkukulitan,,

2nd year nag start kme maging close nila arman, benedict, lester and dustin.. hay pno kse mag ddebut si she nun.. practice ng sayaw sa paco park.. paganon ganon parati kada sabado.. after ng debut,, cards naman after class.. walang katapusang pustahan.. sobrang tawanan lahat and labasan ng strategies para matapon na lahat ng tres na hawak sa deck of cards.. hay,, ang saya saya.. dumating din ang never ending na overnights sa school.. haha i can still remember yung mukha nina neri and martin nung night ng defense namin.. haha..

mga panahon na uso yung the ring, the grudge, the phone at kung ano ano pang may "the" ang title.. naalala ko pa nung nagpa reserve pa kme ng isang room sa school para lang manood ng the ring series.. hay ang saya saya tlga.. ay! at nag concert pa pala si nina noon! naalala ko na tumakas lang ako kina mommy and daddy sabi ko pa non may project kaya ako mag oovernight pero totoo manonood lang ng concert.. hay,, ay eto pa pala! naaalala ko pa yung "bente kwatro" yun yung dance step sa pinaka baduy na pinanood na movie namin nung college! sina kristine hermosa ata ang andon.. haha!

hay,, naaalala ko pa nung pumupunta pa kme sa senado.. nakakamiss.. yung orange jeep na sinasakyan namin pag walang taxi hehe.. yung mga days na tumatambay kme sa cafe para lang hintayin matapos ang class nina she,, andon lang kme,, tamang titigan lang at kulitan.. nakakamiss yung mga panahon na yon.. pag hapon deretso glorietta,, uubusin ang pera para lang mag laro sa timezone.. hay, ang sarap sarap balik balikan,,

miss ko na sila,, miss ko na mga friends ko..

1. philip - hehe para sakin sya yung pinaka cool sa lahat.. parang lahat sa knya ok.. parang lahat sa knya nasa proper place..

2. dustin - hehe nakakamiss yung cute smile nya and yung pagkabulol nya..

3. lester - hahahaha nakakamiss yung mga quotable quotes nya and yung joke nya na kahit corny e natatawa tlga ko..

4. arman - nakakamiss yung mga pamatay nyang advices.. yung pagiging shock absorber nya pag nagbbreak kme ng bf ko.. nakakamiss yung mga encouraging words nya pag down ako.. hay,, at eto pa! nakaka miss pala yung pagka teki teki nya.. haha!

5. benedict(BIGGEST CRUSH!) - nakakamiss yung ka sweetan nya sakin.. haha! oo naman sweet sya sakin kahit hindi halata..

6. aileen - hay, nakakamiss yung mga times na magkasama tayo pag uwi and pag punta ng buendia..

7. mich - nakakamiss yung mga yosi nights namin sa dorm before..

8. gen - nakakamiss yung dating gen,, yung walang pinoproblemang boys,, yung tamang kontento na pag naglalaro kme ng freecell sa AS/400 class namin..

9. she - nakakamiss yung non-stop kwentuhan about boys, about life,, samin lahat sya lang yung talagang nakaka intindi sakin e.. nakakalungkot tapos sya pa yung umalis..

hay,, miss you all guys,, if only i could turn back time.. sana nga ganon na lang.. sana naging forever na lang tayong ganon,, bata and life seemed simple.. well, things are really different now,, minsan na lang magkita kita.. minsan na lang makapag usap,, wala nang mga pusoy dos wala nang timezone.. wala nang overnights.. nakakalungkot.. namimiss ko na kayo..

Sorry For The Stupid Things

Sometimes we wish for the better
When we have it good as it gets
Sometimes the grass isn't greener
As soon as we find out, we forget
Sometimes a fool doesn't know he's a fool
Sometimes a dog, he don't know he's a dog
Sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really don't mean it at all

Sometimes a man is gon' be a man
Its not an excuse, its just how it is
Sometimes a wrong, don't know that they wrong
Sometimes the strong, ain't always so strong
Sometimes a girl is gon' be a girl
She don't want to deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl, I'm sorry for the stupid things
I wish I didn't do but I do

Sometimes I wish I was smarter
Wish I was a bit more like you
Not making stupid decisions made at the last minute
You live to regret when its through
Well sometimes a fool, doesn't know he's a fool
And sometimes a dog, he don't know he's a dog
But sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really didn't mean it at all

Sometimes a man is gon' be a man
Its not an excuse, its just how it is
Sometimes a wrong, don't know that they wrong
Sometimes the strong, can't always be strong
Sometimes a girl, is gon' be a girl
She don't want to deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you
So girl, I'm sorry for the stupid things
I wish I didn't do but I do

Sometimes a fool doesn't know he's a fool
And sometimes a dog, he don't know he's a dog
But sometimes I do stupid things to you
When I really didn't mean it at all
At all . . .at all

Sometimes a man is gon' be a man
Its not an excuse, its just how it is
Sometimes a wrong, don't know that they wrong
Sometimes the strong, ain't always so strong
Sometimes a girl, is gon' be a girl
She don't want to deal with all the drama in your world
God knows I don't mean to give it to you girl
So girl I'm sorry for the stupid things
I wish I didn't do but I do

last saturday i went to laguna.. 80th bday celebration ni lola.. la lang.. ok naman super touched sya.. syempre i get a chance to be with my family.. as in literally the whole clan! ok lang.. deadma lang.. actually hesitant akong pumunta don.. if not for lola lang tlga.. wala lang. i dont know why.. bsta parang ayoko lang makita yung iba sa knila.. i just want to be with my daddy that time.. he really is the most important person in the world..

so yun.. nakita ko na naman mga pinsan ko.. la lang.. some of them are married,, some of them are with their partner.. then yun.. syempre as expected,, na question na naman yung pagiging single ko.. dapat daw at my age,, i have a bf na daw.. la lang deadma lang.. bkt? requirement ba na mag bf? requirement ba na mag asawa agad? la lang..

tapos pumunta si aaron.. (my x bf) as expected,, pinupush na naman nila ako sa knya.. hay nako.. hindi na sila napagod.. ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa knla at kay aaron na it's over? ilang beses ko ba sasabihin sa knila na I DON'T RECYCLE!! ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa knila na masaya ko ngayon kahit single? so what if im single? kakulangan ba yun? wala lang.. nakakainis lang kse.. parang they keep on pushing me na mag bf.. specifically they want me and aaron to be friends.. bkt? kelangan bang maging friends kme? yung guy ba na nanloko sayo gusto mong maging friend? i mean.. wala na akong feelings for him.. yeah.. i know past is past.. hindi na rin ako nahhurt sa ngyre samin before.. wala na yun.. pero ayoko sya maging friend.. it's not that hindi ko kaya.. it's just that i dont want to.. wala lang.. so please aaron.. mapagod kna sana.. kse ako yung napapagod para sayo sa kakatry.. mapagod ka naman.. i dont care if you're telling me that it won't happen again.. para sakin there's no point for us to be together..

yun lang.. happy naman ako and so far.. contented ako na nag iisa.. yun lang.. hay.. may sense ba?? kse inaantok ako e.. sigi next time na lng.. hehe!

hello!!!!!!! wahahaha matagal tagal ding nanahimik ang blog ko! wahaha.. medyo busy lang lately.. haha.. la lang.. ano ba masasabe ko? uhm.. im happy.. im ok.. im more than ok! never been this happy.. hay.. bakit? wala.. ewan,, it's not because of someone.. it's not because of a guy.. i just feel so happy.. hehe ewan.. siguro sa status ng work ko.. siguro i find time to take care of myself.. siguro ngayon lang ako nagkaron ng chance para naman ma pamper ko yun sarili ko.. yung walang iniisip.. yung walang iniisip na maala ala mo kaya moments.. hehe..

am so glad im over paul na.. hehe.. siguro kaya ganon kabilis kse hindi ko na sya nakikita.. hindi rin.. hehe hindi ko na rin sya nakikita sa ym.. hehe baka naka stealth ako sa knya.. wala lang.. pero ok lang.. as if i care pa rin.. wala na ko pakielam sa knya.. whatever he thinks of me doesn't matter anymore.. basta.. i've done my part and that's enough..

hay! sa dami atang relationships na napagdaanan ko na e ewan.. sanay na ko.. magiging kayo,, magbbreak,, tapos move on.. tapos magiging kayo ulit,, tapos break na naman,, tapos move on na naman! ganyan lang tlga ang love life.. hello and goodbye.. hello and goodbye na naman,, hay! paulit ulit! paulit ulit! hehe..

kagabi before ako matulog.. naisip ko si dandrei.. wala lang.. not because i miss him.. not because i still love him.. not because i still want to be with him.. wala lang.. bigla lang syang pumasok sa isip ko ng matagal kaya marami akong napagtanto-->naks! hanep sa tagalog! hehe.. wala lang.. kamusta na kaya ang mokong na yon? after nung break up namin wala na kong narinig sa knya.. wala na kong nabalitaan.. hindi na tlga nagparamdam.. haha! bakit naman sya magpaparamdam di ba? pero naisip ko siguro sinasadya rin nya yon.. for some reasons siguro.. siguro kse naisip din nya na kailangan nya ko tulungan na mag move on so siguro mag disappear na lang sya ng todo.. or pwede rin na ayaw na tlga nya ko makita or makausap.. haha! naisip ko rin kagabi bakit ganon? ang tagal namin pero bakit hindi ko man lang naramdaman na minahal nya ko? wala lang.. hindi ko naramdaman yung feeling ng may bf nung kme? bkt hindi nya ko tinetxt pagkagising nya sa umaga? oo nag iiloveyou sya sakin.. pero parang hindi totoo e.. parang labas sa ilong.. hehe.. wala lang.. kse bakit hindi sya nagseselos? promise.. kahit isang beses hindi nya ko pinagselosan.. kahit isang beses hindi nya ko pinagalitan sa soot ko! minsan sinasadya ko na nga e pero wala pa rin epekto! hay! parang hindi rin ako nagkaron ng bf.. pag may kailangan akong bilhin sa mall hindi ko sya kasama.. basta ganon.. hay,, ok lang.. haha! ngayon ok lang.. ok na ko.. sabi ko nga nasa pagtanggap lang yan..

pero wala lang.. minsan im wishing na sana one day mag cross yung path namin.. hindi para maging kme ha.. gusto ko lang sya ulit makita balang araw.. shocks.. ano kaya magiging reaction ko nun.. hay.. siguro akala nya galit ako sa knya..siguro akala nya sinusumpa ko sya sa ginawa nya sakin.. pero hindi e.. sa totoo lang.. i wish him happiness.. if he's with someone na.. sana maging happy na sya.. sila.. kung naging sila ulit nung x nya,, sana masaya na sya.. yun.. hindi ako galit sa knya e.. kahit na nung nakipagbreak sya sakin.. siguro na realize ko na pointless naman tlga yung relationship namin.. siguro nakakapagod na rin.. hindi lang sakin.. pero siguro sa knya na rin.. yun.. sa totoo lang i thank him pa nga not only for setting me free but also for making me love myself after the break up.. siguro kse nung naging kme masyado akong naging focused sa knya.. to the point na napaparanoid na ko sa kinakahantungan ng relationship namin.. kaya siguro good thing na sya na rin yung nakipag break.. kse siguro kung ako yung hinihintay nya malamang hindi ko gawin yun.. pno kse im head over heels in love with him.. to the point na gagawin ko lahat para lang mag work yung worthless na relationship namin.. kya siguro akala nya galit ako sa knya.. akala nya masama loob ko sa knya.. pero sa totoo lang gumaan loob ko after our break up.. siguro kse naisip ko na nawalan na ko ng problema.. ayun.. haba na ng post ko! nobela na naman! haha!

basta ngayon ayoko na ng mga kadramahan sa buhay.. hindi na ko magpapa apekto sa mga x na yan.. i've moved on and i'll never look back.. haha! girl power! yes! that's the spirit!