Nico's 2 cents

 

"You can’t hide. A true player responds to disaster as if nothing's happened. When they smell fear in this town, it's over... ...I find it offensive that women always feel that we have to apologize for our success. There are no flukes, there is no luck, there’s just talent and hard work, and the ability to bounce back when you’re knocked down. No more, no less." -- Nico Riley, Lipstick Jungle

Tomorrow will be the start of my new year. Clean slate! GO FOR IT! :)

Mr Big

 

 Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. -- The Immortal Beloved Letters, Ludwig van Beethoven 

Dear Mr Big,

Please tell me I'm the one...

I'm not OK

I'm not OK but I will be fine.. *inhale.. exhale..* That's the spirit!

The Day After

It is 6:30am and I don't feel like sleeping. I never thought I would survive my December 28th. The feeling of "sadness" is an understatement. I cried for help but no one was there. I don't know how to contain myself. I hoped to be insane. My tears were over-pouring. I have no one to talk to. I have nowhere to go.

There's one thing that kept running on my head that night. I wanted to die. I'm not the suicidal type but I really wanted to die. What if I die of crying? What if I got hit by a cab then die? Call me crazy but it hurts so much that I thought of just letting everything go. I don't know how depression feels but if depression is sadness to the nth power then I had it last night.

Today, I'm still alive. And yes, it still hurts. I'm trying everything just to lessen my pain. Baby steps as Ch@m!3 would say. I'll be ok.. In my own time. In my own way.

F*CK YOU!!!

drained

I've been crying endlessly the whole day. Please make it stop. Sobrang lungkot hindi ko na ata makaya..

Gusto kong mag book sa malayong malayong lugar tapos hindi na ko babalik. I know I have to shake this shit all off but I don't know how to fucking do it. Ayoko nang maging nega pero wala akong mapiga kahit na konting positivity sa katawan ko ngayon.

Oo nega queen ako. Wag kang makielam, blog ko to! Tanginang buhay naman to. Gustong gusto ko nang mag give up!

PS:
Alam kong naging kaibigan ako sa inyo. ayun lang.

Woooooooh!

 

Dear Universe,

Bakit ba ang hirap mo naman kausap? After all the shit that happened this weekend, di ba I deserve a freakin break? Facial lang naman ang hinahanap ko.. FACIAAAAL! Mahirap ba yun? Woooooooh!

PS:

Why are you so effin kupal? RAWR!!

Life

Ito na siguro ang pinaka challenging na pasko sa pamilya namin. Unang beses na hindi ko maramdaman na holiday pala ngayon. Nakakagulat.. Nakakalungkot. Ang buhay nga naman, hindi mo masabi. Minsan naiisip ko, kanya kanyang bullshit lang yan sa buhay.Pero bakit ganon? Parang masyadong pinapalo ni God ang pamilya namin?

Nag aalala ako para kay Ate. Kay Ate at sa baby nya. May sarili akong iniisip pero mas importante sya sa ngayon. Kelangan kong maging malakas para sa kanya. Kami na lang dalawa ang magkasama. Kelangan nya ko ngayon. Hinding hindi ko sya iiwan.

I can't wait na makita si baby, ang kaisa isang positive na nangyare ngayong 2010.

Breathe Me

This is my song for the day. What an awful Christmas. :(