paasa ka

leche!

my dream birthday

ilang taon na din na parang lumilipas lang na araw ang birthday ko.. yung tipong napadaan lang... ganito siguro talaga pag namumuhay kang mag isa. parati kong kasama mga kaibigan ko, yet i feel alone... i feel empty.... i feel sad.... oh yeah, birthday blues.

you know what i really really miss on my birthday? for 20 years, every waking birthdays of my life, i would wake up hearing my dad's voice saying "happy birthday taba!" aaaw, bigla akong nalungkot. i miss daddy, i miss my family. dad will cook fetuccine alfredo, the best fetuccine in town! yan ang default na handa sa bahay. never nawala ang fetuccine sa kahit anong okasyon.. and you know what? hindi ako nagsasawa.. the best ever! and at night, before i go to sleep, sisilipin nya ko sa kwarto ko. hihintayin nya na makatulog ako. sya lagi yung taga patay ng ilaw ng room ko. para bang mine-make sure nya na sya yung mag open and mag close ng birthday ko. eto yung default kong birthday sa bahay... still, i am happy and i feel special.

syempre i still want a celebration with my friends but i'm more excited in celebrating it at home... simple but sweet. :)

last kiss

Sabi nila choosy daw ako, low EQ, mataray, mataas standards pero hinde.. Hindi ko pa lang sya nakikita.. I just want my next one to be my last one. :)


"The right guy, he's out there. I'm not just gonna go kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him... when I finally get kissed, I'll know. I've kissed a guy, I just haven't felt that thing... That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time." -- Josie Gellar, Never Been Kissed

10 days na lang!

¡feliz cumpleaños! see you there! *wink wink*

spot-an mo to

iniiwasan kong mag strike ang brain cells ko kaya simple at maiksi lang ang post na to. last saturday, i cut my hair short.. really really short... hehehe!


yun lang.. end of share..

can we stay like this forever?

5 years ago we were like this..

kumakanta ng where's the love sa philman, umoovernight ng walang nagagawa sa 8th floor, chumachant sa calculus.. parang kelan lang ng ginawa nateng hobby ang mag pusoy dos at ang mag tong-its sa caf at sa miding.. laro lang ng laro tayo noon hanggang sa magtapos tayo at magtrabaho.

nanatili ang magandang pagsasamahan. linggo linggong nag iinuman.


halos naging stockholders na tayo ng w grill. araw araw na conference sa yahoo. ang unlimited na comments sa multiply.. nakakamiss ang mga panahon...



sabi nga nila..... a picture paints a thousand words.....



nalulungkot ako and i can't say why.. totoo ngang hindi na tayo mga bata. hindi na grades ang pinoproblema naten.. waaah! this is soooo sad! paabot nga ng baso!

we are like this.....


we are f*cking adults! shot!

tampuhan

itago na lang naten sya sa pangalang junior. si junior at ako ay opismates sa bundok ng mckinley. hindi ko masasabing talagang magkaibigan kame pero nakakalokohan at nakakakwentuhan ko sya. masayang kausap si junior. punong puno sya ng sense of humor.

dumating ang masaklap na balita nung hulyo. nagpaka otistik ako sa opisina.. bihira akong makipag usap sa ibang tao. naayos ang problema ko. back to normal na naman si dora. isang araw sa yosihan sa bundok...

ang drama:
dora: hi junior!
junior: deadma (masama ang mukha)
dora: o bakit?
junior: galit ako
dora: kanino? bakit?
junior: deadma
dora: saken?
junior: deadma sabay sabi sa mga kasama ng "tara na! akyat na tayo!"
supporting actor: tinapik ang likod ni dora sabay alis
dora: wow may something!

huwaw ang taray ng exit mo boi! e di ok.. ako deadma lang.. hanggang sa napansin kong hindi nga ako kinakausap ni junior.. isang hapon sa yosihan na naman....

ang drama:
dora: uy ano galit ka pa rin saken?
junior: pwede ba nag iisip ako ng trabaho dito!
dora: ok fine

kanina sa ym, ang drama: si dora nag reak sa status message..
dora: bkt?
junior: bkit ano?
dora: bkt work sucks
junior: db obvious?
dora: a..
dora: haha
dora: **** sucks
dora: *** sucks
dora: junior
dora: may problema ka ba saken
dora: ano ba issue mo
dora: tagal na kita tinatanong
dora: ok fine
dora: forget i asked

uhm.. ano to jowa? nagpapa amo ka ba? sabihin mo lang kase hindi ko hobby yun! hindi naman ako masyadong affected pero it bugs me pag alam kong may nagtatampo saken.. pero wow lang.. hindi ko gawain na mang amo.. hanggang 3 lang ang limit ko sa pagtatanong.. after nun wala na.. mabilis akong kausap.. kung ayaw mo e di fine.. saka sa usapang magkaibigang babae at lalake, parang hindi ata madalas na role ng lalake ang magtampo, madalas yang nasa script ng babae! di ba? di ba? di ba? so kung ako sayo sabihin mo na... ano ba? uhm.... may nasabi ba ko? may nagawa ba ko? binreak ko ba ang heart mo? haha chika lang.. pero ano ngaaaaaaaaa? sobrang wala akong idea... oh well.. sabi ko nga pagod na ko... kung ako sayo junior isulat mo na lang yan kay ate charo papanoorin ko na lang sa tv dahil inaantok na ko.. pagod na ko magtanong!

clean slate

i can't sleep. there's so many things running in my head right now. i just want to blow it all out. tomorrow august 4th, is a start of a new chapter in my life. i want to start it on a clean slate.

july had been a tough month for me, it made me realize who my real friends are. i love you guys.. super! i can't thank you enough for being there...

1. cat(my boss) - superb manager and a friend. you have been very strong and understanding. you were my backbone at the time i thought i'm gonna fall. i can't thank you enough. just like what you said to me, i also have nothing but praises for you.. thank you for considering me as your friend.
2. chamie - you have always been my shock absorber. whenever i'm talking to you i feel secure. i know whatever happens, you will always take care of me.. you're like a big sister(really).
3. madam - you are the leader of my cheering squad! thank you for uplifting my soul. whenever i feel sad i talk to you. you always make sure that i smile despite of everything that has happened to me. you're really one of a kind.
4. irene - eventhough we don't spend much time together, i know that you're my friend.. you're always there.. online... you were never busy for all of us. i can tell you anything without thinking of you judging me. you're one of the real person i've known.
5. gen - i was so touched when you asked me how i was.. as in... even if you're happy and contented right now, you're still there... asking me how i was coping.
6. she - you are so far yet i can feel you hugging me in times of my discomfort. through the years you're always consistent. you never left me. always there listening to all my rants. you never get tired of me. i can always feel your love.

yeah.. what happened last july was a big bomb for me and i can say, it made me tougher. i'm sorry but i just want to write all i want to write right now... beware, i think this will be a very long post...

i will start my story with a new advertising executive in our office. her family is a close friend of our ceo, she studied nursing in college and it is her first real job. everybody's eyes are on her because everybody thinks she only get in because of nepotism. last friday, i've learned that a company allegedly pulled out their account on us because of her. i can hear people talking about her and the situation. i feel bad for her. it is unfair, everybody makes mistakes.. don't let her take all the blame.. she has her superior and a managing director.. for me, how can they let this happen? she's a fresh grad for crying out loud!

i can put myself on her shoes. i've been in a not so different situation a few years back. i know how it feels when you know that everybody is watching your every move waiting for you to commit mistake. being bullied by some power tripping bitches in the office(hell yeah.. offices have queen bees too!). being doubted by your superiors(why the hell did they hired me anyway?). it was hard.. hard to prove yourself everyday only to find out that their eyes were closed because you're not like one of them.

it's not proper to name names right now but i'm sorry i just have to say this. just now, i realized i revered the wrong person. for so many years, i looked up to you. and now, thinking about it... pasimpleng kups ka pala. yes you are good on what you do.. but personality wise? hmm i doubt it.. i'm sorry for all the revelations but i just get so tired... tired of trying everything for your respect. yes, my eyes are wide open right now.. you and your posse will never approve of me. and the funny thing is? I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!

i'm the type of person who never forgets. maybe that's the thing about me.. last month was tough. i'd been on a roller coaster emotion. there came a time when i thought of those people in the past. maybe they were right about me... maybe i don't have what it takes... that maybe this is just not for me... but being a genuine brat, i want to prove them wrong! i want to prove myself wrong! i am dora! i am good, I AM SO GOOD! i may not be the typical "dev" person that you know but i have passion. passion to do my craft. and i have a dream.. a dream that you, "mr. conceited" and your posse can never steal no matter what you say... no matter what you do..

there. i'm done. i'll start over.

i am mad

yes and i super hate you.. you're such a pain in the ass!

greatest love

sabi nila, sa buhay ng isang tao meron daw isang "greatest love". siguro at the age of 24 hindi ko pa nararamdaman/nakikita yun.. pag pinag usapan ang greatest love 2 couples lang yung naiisip ko...

1. madam and matias


--> oo chong hinalukay ko ang blog mo makakuha lang ng malaking picture.. ang tyaga ko lang kumlick haha! teka.. parang magkamukha kayo?

hindi ko na siguro kelangan iexplain kung bakit sila... sila na ang storyang pinagbawalan na ng tadhana but they seem to make it work. i give credits to both of them.. ang galing! even if hindi ko pa nami-meet yung guy, alam ko... hindi kna makakakita ng ganyang love kahit kanino kahit saan..

2. carry and mr. big

alam kong hindi sila true to life story.. but... think about it. they got married at the age of 40. they've been dating for like 10 years before nila narealize na sila talaga ang meant na magsama.. they've been with other partners.. they didn't believe in marriage at first but there came a time that they decided to settle down as husband and wife..

*****************
sila lagi yung pegs ko pag naiisip ko ng phrase na "great love". siguro meron talagang isang tao... na kahit anong gawin mo, sya lang talaga.. kahit kanino ka i-partner ng tadhana, walang makakalamang dun sa tao na yun sa buhay mo.. i want to experience that.. yung magmahal ng tunay(yeah.. emo alert!) i want to find that someone who i can be crazy with.. yung taong kaya kong i-compromise ang maraming bagay makasama lang sya.. yung taong matatakot akong mawala saken.. someone na titingnan pa lang ako, kumpleto na araw ko...

i like corny.. i'm looking for corny all my life...